The Art of Lying

You know, I'm a terribly good liar. I really am. I can tell what someone wants to hear, and I give it to them. I can go on for hours with a single lie. I'll admit, it's been a pretty goddamn good skill to have. But the other day I felt this awful gap in my stomach after I lied. Like after I told Mr. Spencer I had to leave to go to the gym. I got to escape, but boy, did I feel an awful churn in my stomach. It was probably just the goddamn Pencey steak from the night before. But I guess as long as the lies aren't really hurting anyone, it's okay, right?
If you want to learn to be a damn good liar, then you should probably take a look at this site: It's a little corny, but it gets the point across.
http://www.wikihow.com/Lie
I bet you don't want to find the important parts in all that junk. The stuff you really need. So I made a quick summary:
1. Keep eye contact.
2. Remember the details you used. NEVER slip up on your past lies.
3. Details are everything.
4. Tell them something that they would feel horrible not to believe (ex: telling them you have a tumor in your brain, that must be removed by surgery)
5. Use your imagination and have fun with it.


Also, if you want a good crack up, take a look at this video

It killed me. It really did. I'm glad not to be involved with anyone, so I don't have to deal with much crap.